Give me a homer hanky, and I'm set.

The list of the best and worst baseball promotions is in from ESPN, and looks like they weren't impressed by the Morneau fishing lure being offered 1 May:

Justin Morneau Fishing Lure (Twins, May 1)
This is different from the large wad-of-money lure the Red Sox or Yankees will use to reel in Morneau when he become a free agent.

You hush your mouth, ESPN.  I don't want any of that talk about Morneau ditching us ... although it's inevitable. LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU DICKS LA LA SHUT UP LA LA LA.

And the ridiculous Kent "Can I PLEASE buy a vowel?" Hrbek bobblehead makes the worst list, which I can't really disagree with:

Kent Hrbek Bobblehead Night (Twins, June 19)
Unfortunately, it's not a very accurate likeness of Mr. Hrbek. It could use way more neck bulge.

Hey, I love all my classic Twins players, but let's admit it: dude is HUGE.

On the brighter side, my beloved Dreamyburns was mentioned in one of their best promos for this season:

Joe Mauer Bronze Statue (Twins, April 18)
Treasure this moment, captured forever in bronze, in which Joe Mauer was not hurt.

Yeah, LOL JOE MAUER IS HURT ALL THE TIME!  OMG TWITTER LOL BRB!  I guess they're giving that shit away on Saturday, so I'd recommend making it to the Dome if you want a physical piece of evidence that Mauer at one time actually played baseball.

Read this list, though; there are some pretty killer promos, like Beerfest in Oakland.  Those A's have to drown their sorrows somehow.